Tutorials Archives - SKYN

The orgasm gap is real. But fortunately, with the right information, we can work on closing it together ❤

The orgasm gap exists strictly in heterosexual relationships…and refers to the fact that men orgasm more frequently than women. In fact, 95% of heterosexual men, reported that they ‘usually’ or ‘always’ experienced orgasm during sex, compared to 65% of women (and only 39% of college-aged women). The figures vary by study, but the conclusion remains: heterosexual men are coming more than the women they’re sleeping with.

So what gives? Why are straight women having less orgasms than their male counterparts?

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…Two other gaps help explain this gendered issue.

Lesbian vs. Straight Sex: Research shows that the orgasm gap is a non-issue in lesbian relationships — as it essentially disappears. With lesbian women experiencing orgasm 86% of the time. Interestingly, men’s orgasm rates were unaffected by their sexual orientation.

Women Alone vs. With a Partner: Women have significantly more orgasms while masturbating vs. while with a partner.

Red-headed woman in her underwear standing in a powerful position

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“The orgasm gap is a cultural problem”

So — if lesbian women and masturbating women are having more orgasms than women when they have sex with men… what’s causing this gendered gap in heterosexual sex?

Though it could appear that penile involvement is to blame — the orgasm gap is a cultural problem.

Here are just a few reasons why the orgasm gap is as complex as it is cultural.
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The overvaluing penetrative sex

As a society, we overvalue penetrative sex. Just 3 to 10% of women reliably orgasm from penetration alone, yet society consistently presents us with images of women having mind-blowing orgasms from intercourse in movies, porn and on TV.

Our language tells a similar story. We use the words ‘sex’ and ‘intercourse’ interchangeably and clitoral stimulation is considered as ‘foreplay’ and not part of the main event. We have countless nicknames for ‘penis’ and few (if any) for the clitoris. All of this results in misinformation, false expectations and couples thinking they’re doing it wrong.

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The female pleasure taboo

There are endless cultural reasons that contribute to the orgasm gap, but they all seem to stem from our denial of female pleasure. To start, sex education doesn’t usually focus on pleasure. Growing up, our definition of ‘sex’, begins with a male getting an erection and ends with ejaculation. Our society judges women for enjoying sex, having casual sex and having multiple sexual partners. And yet, being able to openly communicate with your partner is key to reaching orgasm.

You can see why it could be difficult to explicitly ask for something that our society is in denial of. Additionally, many women are plagued by self-consciousness during sex… and it’s basically impossible to have an orgasm while sucking in your stomach. Finally, reaching orgasm requires a mindfulness that few of us have mastered in our daily life, let alone our sex lives.

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In an interview with Cosmo, Nicki Minaj made explained that she demands orgasms from her sexual partners. She also explained that she teaches her friends how to demand (and receive) orgasms from their male partners too: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me.”

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“I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life!”
Nicki Minaj

Closing the orgasm gap

Closing the orgasm gap comes down to education, clitoral knowledge, and the willingness to apply that knowledge.

To close the orgasm gap, we have to hold clitoral stimulation and penetration as equal. Most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and not penetration alone. Both women and men must understand this and really apply this knowledge.

Because when it comes to the orgasm gap, the work is far from over — not just in raising awareness of it’s existence — but in exploring the deep and complex reasons as to why it’s so difficult for women to ask for and receive orgasms. We must give people the tools they need to explore their own sexual pleasure, and the confidence to communicate that with their partners.

Adding toys into the mix can be a fantastic way to show your partner exactly what works for you and to increase your level of intimacy. Normalizing and using vibes is a simple way to begin closing the gap; vibes are a great addition to foreplay and can be used externally during penetrative sex.

Closing the orgasm gap may be a long and winding road… but one thing’s for sure: pleasure is an endless exploration.

“During quarantine, you’re either alone or together…there’s no in between”, says Charlie Halston, a 28-year-old comedian from London.

With borders closed and travel at a stand still, a huge number of couples have been separated for months. It’s only recently that some of us are seeing our partners again, after all this time.

We have to make up for lost time — and time is of the essence.

Here are some playful ways to restore intimacy after months of being apart.

A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
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Deliver-o

The next time you click ‘place order’ on this week’s take-out, get ready. This is a race against time — and whoever comes first, wins.

Yes — that means, either you and your parter, or the person delivering your food.
No — we are not suggesting that you sleep with your delivery driver.

BUT what we are suggesting, is that you and your partner should both try and come, before your food arrives. Have your cake… and eat it too.

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A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets

Sensuality is how in tune you are with your senses — sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. It opens up a powerful passageway to experience raw emotions. Accessing our sensual nature, allows us to feel more deeply connected to others and ourselves.

Skyn Lubricants

While sensuality and sexuality may be used interchangeably, the two are very different. Sensual experiences do not necessarily have to lead to sexual ones. However, being in tune with your sensuality can heighten your sexual encounters.

Using personal lubricants in the bedroom can present some seriously exciting ways to explore your sensual side. Not only can lube make certain things possible (i.e. anal), it can also offer a huge range of sensations that can bring sexual play to the next level. About 70% of people have already tried incorporating lube into their love life. But before you become one of them — it’s important to have a basic understanding of how it works, when it can come in handy and what different formulas can do.

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To start — lube isn’t just a natural lubrication replacement — but rather, a vessel for endless exploration. Men of course, don’t produce any lubrication, and while most females are capable of doing so, it’s not always the case. In addition to making anal sex more comfortable and extending the longevity of marathon sessions, lube can be used in a variety of ways… a true sensuality enhancer.

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Water-based lube is the most common type of lube.

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Water-based lubricants

Water-based lube is the most common type of lube. It can be used for pretty much all of your sexual needs: penetration, masturbation and with toys. Water-based lubes are also ideal for sensitive skin and vaginal irritation and it’s the best option to use with condoms.

Pro tip* the fact that it’s water-based makes it the easiest to clean out of sheets and clothes.

“My boyfriend got me a bottle of SKYN Aqua Feel while on a road trip once, so now we just keep it in the car. Anytime we drive somewhere especially beautiful, we both usually feel compelled to use it. It’s a nice way to experience our surroundings in a new way and to create memories together that are just for us” says Jake, 33.

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“WOW… It’s incredible”
Mila, 25

SKYN Excite is more than a water-based lubricant — it’s an orgasmic gel for her. It was specially designed and tested by women to maximize the female sexual experience. “Using SKYN Excite with my girlfriend was so intense…in a good way! You just have to gently massage it onto your clit… it takes a minute to kick in and then WOW… it’s incredible” says Mila, 25.

A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets

Silicone-based

Silicone-based lube is slippery, long-lasting, and the best for longer sessions. “At gay play parties, there really aren’t many toys” says James, 22… “there’s lube, there are condoms, there are wipes, but generally, there’s just bodies. What you see is what you get. SKYN All Night Long is the only lube I bring.”

The ingredients in silicone-based lube require less to be applied and less reapplication. It’s also #1 for shower sex and shower masturbating, as the silicone is resistant to water.

Just remember, silicone-based lube shouldn’t be used on silicone sex toys, as it can break down the rubber over time. However, there are many toys that are made from other materials, like hard plastic, glass and steel, so this lube is still great for that!

A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets
A naked girl laying in gray bedsheets

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“We use our favorite oil-based lube as massage oil and then what’s left for personal lubricant”
Camille, 29

Oil-based

Oil-based lube provides a slippery feel that stays on longer than water-based lubricant. Oil-based lubes are ideal for masturbation, penetrative unprotected sex and water play. “The best is when my boyfriend starts by giving me a luxurious massage and then eventually it turns into something more. We use our favorite oil-based lube as massage oil and then what’s left for personal lubricant… it’s super convenient” says Camilla, 29.

Oil-based lubricants (or other oil-based products, like coconut oil) should not be used with latex condoms. The oil dissolves the latex of the condom and can cause them to break.

Using Lubricants with your SKYN Products

While using a condom, use only water-based or silicone lubricants, such as SKYN Aqua Feel, SKYN Excite Gel or SKYN All Night Long. Do NOT use anything oil-based like petroleum jelly, coconut oil, butter, hand creams or body lotion. While using a condom, withdraw occasionally, to add more lubricant. Most* SKYN Lubricants are compatible with sex toys, including SKYN Vibes, SKYN Stroke and SKYN Thrill.

 

*SKYN All Night Long is silicone-based and therefore is not compatible with SKYN Vibes.

Choosing the right condom can take some trial and error, but most men will agree that their favorite is “the one that’s readily available”. SKYN also has an excellent assortment in their Selection pack, so you can test out what feels best for you and your partner. Male condoms offer 98% effectiveness against unwanted pregnancy and STIs — and nothing’s sexier than safe sex…

There are three main materials condoms are made from: natural rubber latex, synthetic materials and lambskin (with latex being the most widely-used by producers). However, an increasing number of women and men are turning to non-latex options, as latex can be to blame for rashes and allergic reactions. It all comes down to using what feels right for you. Try out an assorted Selection pack and find what works!

SKYN condoms are the world’s most-sold non-latex condom. This cult status comes down to SKYNFEEL® — a revolutionary material that is noticeably softer and more natural-feeling than regular condoms. SKYN condoms offer the same protection against pregnancy and STIs and they’re manufactured in a facility that doesn’t process latex at all.

Users report SKYN condoms as feeling ‘barely noticeable’ and ‘full of sensitivity’, while remaining safe and suitable for people with an allergy to latex. The brand offers a ton of latex-free options too—from extra lube, larger sizes and flavored.

 

Here are 6 types of condoms, so you can see what sounds best for you.

SKYN Natural Feel Original Non Latex Condoms

This is a new generation of condom and loved by many. Made from SKYNFEEL®, a technologically advanced, non-latex material, proven to enhance stimulation. It feels so soft and comfortable that you’ll barely notice wearing it, allowing you and your partner to really feel everything.

It offers a straight fit with ultra smooth lubricant not spermicidal, a smooth texture and 53 mm size with reservoir tip.

SKYN Elite Non Latex Condoms

This is our thinnest and softest condom, offering everything of the original design, except 20% thinner than SKYN Original. Offering the most ultimate natural feeling.

The SKYN Elite is incredibly 20% thinner than SKYN Original! With the same straight fit, ultra smooth lubricant not spermicidal, smooth texture and 53 mm size with reservoir tip.

SKYN Extra Lube Condoms

Lubricant allows you and your partner to extend play. SKYN Extra Lube condoms contain 40% more long-lasting lubricant compared to SKYN Original condoms. These condoms offer the maximum amount of comfort, enhancing your experience. All SKYN condoms are made from SKYNFEEL® material.

 

SKYN Intense Feel Condoms

Instead of *just* protecting against unwanted pregnancy and STIs, condoms can play more of an active role in offering up interesting sensations. SKYN Intense Feel condoms have a wave design texture with raised dots in all the right places. The dots are placed in the most sensitive areas to maximize stimulation and enhance pleasure.

SKYN Large Non Latex Condoms

This is the same much-loved condom, made from SKYNFEEL® only larger. It feels so soft and comfortable that you’ll barely notice wearing it, allowing you and your partner to really feel everything.

It offers a straight fit with ultra smooth lubricant not spermicidal, a smooth texture and 56 mm size with reservoir tip.

 

SKYN Cocktail Flavored Condoms

SKYN Cocktail Club condoms are new non-latex “flavored and scented” condoms, inspired by cocktails. Flavors include Piña Colada, Cherry Sunrise and Passion Daiquiri. The SKYNFEEL® material in this condom lets these fruity flavors really shine—as there is no latex smell to hide.

SKYN Cocktail Club condoms are consistently voted the “Best Flavored Condoms” and they are the only non-latex flavored condoms.

Perhaps the least-documented of all sexual acts, is the post-sex cleanup.

It’s strange. We’re all in agreement that sex gets messy… pretty much every time. But we really don’t talk about it, not even a little bit. And without any how-to guides leading the way… really all bets are off. People have been left to their own devices for far too long in this sector, and the feedback we’re getting is extremely varied. We interviewed a range of people, and their after-sex responses ranged from unhygienic to haunting.

Cleanup consisted of answers like, “dick in the sink” to “t-shirt” to “cum towel” and “baby wipes”. But overall, it really feels like we’re all sort of winging it…

Basically, however you’re confronting this post-sex sitch, SKYN wants you to know: there’s a better way!

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SKYN’s Get Fresh Intimate Cleansing Wipes are super gentle, moisturizing with shea butter and provitamin B5, and can be found on the same shelf as condoms and lube.

All SKYN products are designed using the very latest technology to give couples the most intimate sexual experience. From condoms, to lube, to toys, to delay spray for men… SKYN products are simple and natural.

And whatever you like to do right after sex, we promise that Get Fresh wipes will have a place, and may just be your favorite new habit ❤.

SKYN Vibes sex toy close to a swimming pool
Get Fresh Wipes

Get Fresh Wipes

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“It’s the gentlemanly thing to do”
Emma

Blogger, Emma A. writes, “I don’t think my partner and I have ever had a discussion about who should clean me off after sex. He’s just always taken care of it. And that makes sense to me. As far as I see it, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do… I also invested in a baby wipe warmer, which has been great!”

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A pre-pee wipe is perfect… and this is the biggest post-sex advice. Always pee after sex! It will protect against dreaded urinary tract infections (UTIs) and will flush out any bacteria in the urethra from penetrative sex. Condoms can help reduce the spread of bacteria, but it’s still always a good idea to pee asap regardless.

Sperm has been known to throw off the pH balance of vaginas, so these wipes are the perfect tool to wash away any bacteria and quickly re-balance your pH. Healthy vaginas “have a pH between 3.8 and 4.5, which makes them slightly acidic. Semen, on the other hand, is between 7.1 and 8 — making it slightly alkaline. As a result, semen can potentially disrupt the delicate balance that’s ideal for vaginal flora” states Dr. Susie Gronski. Vaginal canals on the other hand, will clean themselves, (vaginas are good like that) — so never douche or attempt to clean the inside.

  • What brings people closer than having sex?
  • Foreplay

“It’s true… foreplay can help partners feel closer and more intimate, which ultimately leads to both parties feeling more aroused”, says Debra Herbenick, PhD, MPH, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington.

And there’s only one rule: however long you think you should be spending on foreplay… it’s always best to multiply by at least two.

So, we’ve done some polling and compiled a list of personal tips, describing different types of foreplay that has brought people closer to their partners…❤

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Close up of the back a couple inside a bathroom

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“For me, the best foreplay always starts with a conversation about what turns me on”
Ryan, 30
1. Don’t neglect the obvious

“Communication is key. I honestly think there’s nothing sexier than a guy who looks me straight in the eyes and asks me what I want him to do to me.

It sounds kind of obvious, (and it really is), but you’d be surprised how rarely that happens. I could never understand why someone would try and guess what feels good for me, when — I’m sitting right there! For me, the best foreplay always starts with a conversation about what turns me on.”

— Ryan, 30

2. Take it slow

“Especially when I haven’t seen my girlfriend in a while, it’s very tempting to just get right to the main event. But what I love even more, is when she’s begging for it. I really take my time when I’m going down on her and love watching her freak out.

The extra attention means that she’s closer to coming, if she hasn’t already. And it’s less pressure on me to last forever. I never have to worry about finishing before she does.”

— Alessandro, 32

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“I go crazy when my girlfriend does anything to my ears”
Nicolette, 24
3. Ears

“I go crazy when my girlfriend does anything to my ears. Light kisses, nibbling, licking—really anything. And then when she brings it down a little further to the neck— it’s all over. My body’s already in a full spasm.

— Nicolette, 24

4. Don’t fear the vibe

“I’m going to be honest… I was a little shy about breaking out my vibrator in front of my boyfriend. But once I got over it, I loved driving him crazy while he watched me use it on myself. I also love when he reaches around during sex and holds it against me, but that’s for another article. My all-time favorite is the SKYN Vibes Personal Massager

— Helena, 67

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“The attention alone is such a turn-on and always puts me in the mood, even if I wasn’t to begin with”
Rae, 18
5. Take it outside

“There’s nothing sexier than a little PDA dragged out over an entire day. Everything from making-out on the street to touching my guy over his pants at the restaurant— is very underrated. One thing he’ll do that makes me insane… is lean in and whisper in my ear how badly he wants me when we’re in a very public place. It pretty much makes me get instantly wet, and really heightens the anticipation until we get home.”

— Sofia, 45

6. Just add water

“I once read that touching your partner’s breasts lowers stress levels by 70% — and I couldn’t agree more. After a long day, my favorite thing is showering together. Especially after a particularly stressful day at work — to just wash the day off, get clean and relax together. And then if it ends up going further, there’s always lube.”

— Nicolas, 27

7. Touch

“The sexiest thing my partner does, is how they take their time touching me. It’s almost like a light tickle up and down my entire body. Once they start stimulating me with their fingers and then it’s all over. The attention alone is such a turn-on and always puts me in the mood, even if I wasn’t to begin with.”

— Rae, 18

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8. Feet

“My boyfriend’s hands are so strong, and he gives the best foot rubs. The slower, the better…and I know he likes watching my reactions. It’s the ultimate combination of foreplay and physical therapy.”

— Noa, 33

9. Play with my hair

“Ok, there’s definitely a ‘right’ way to tug on your partner’s hair…but when it’s right, there’s nothing hotter. It’s best when your grip is firm and as close to the root as possible, away from the face. What’s great is that this can really be done at any time— while kissing their neck, whispering in their ear and of course, during sex.”

— Quinn, 45

Foreplay blog 2

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“The sensation of his lips over the fabric was incredible”
Chloé, 21
10. Nips over everything

“I’ll never forget the first time my boyfriend took the bed sheet, held it up to my chest and kissed my nipples through it. The sensation of his lips over the fabric was incredible and now I ask him to do it all the time…”

— Chloé, 21

Today, porn is one of earliest sexual educators around the world. The issue with this, is that the majority of porn tends to be centered exclusively around biased situations and offers young viewers a distorted perception of sex and intimacy, that could involve violent behavior, non-consensual relationships, and/or unrealistic reactions.

And the adult industry concurs. “Porn is not a how-to guide” urge porn stars Stoya and Dale Cooper. “All sex education can’t be thrown on porn…but at the same time, porn could play a bigger role — instead of just focusing on penetration” Cooper says.

Stoya adds, “[porn] is bluntly superficial entertainment that caters to one of the most basic human desires. Pornography exists and is not going to go away anytime in the near future. I see it as neither inherently empowering nor disempowering. Showing up on set and doing my job is not an act of feminism…my politics and I are feminist… But my job is not.”

All sex education cannot be thrown on porn, but at the same time, porn could play a bigger role
Dale Cooper

In her own words, Stoya states, “I use my body to make gender-binary-heterosexual-oriented pornography for a production company that aims to have as much mass appeal as possible”. In other words, porn is “just a job” for both Stoya and Cooper…however — it does make porn stars pretty much experts on the difference between sex and true intimacy.

Here are 5 pieces of advice from porn stars for increased intimacy.
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1. Consent

“One of the most problematic things that porn doesn’t show, is what consent looks like and how important communicating is with your partner, before and during sex. It’s something that’s as important at-home, as it is while filming.

As performers, we’re usually handed a 20 page contract that says, ‘Here’s payment info. Here’s what you’re doing. Do you consent to this?’ many times. There are also constant check-ins between performers and directors, it’s really supposed to be an open dialogue.

Simply having a conversation about what sexual partners want and don’t want is the best way to increase desire and improve the scene. In my personal life, it’s the same case. There’s nothing that turns me on more than someone who asks me what I want.”

2. Don’t skip foreplay

“I’m a huge believer that foreplay can truly be better than sex. I also treat every interaction with my partner as foreplay.

From texting, to dinner, to how we speak and look at one another in public — every action forms a connection, and every action has the power to make the sex that much better.

Everything is foreplay — it’s really that simple. It’s also always a good idea to brush up on tips and techniques for mind-blowing foreplay — thank me later! :)”

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“Most women can’t come from penetration alone, this is a myth. I repeat —

THIS. IS. A. MYTH.

Make sure to go down on your partner and get her off, she wants to cum as badly as you do. And if for some reason you bust too soon… come back and finish her off! No one likes to be blue-balled — especially not me! Try using a clitoral vibrator while you’re penetrating her too, I recommend the SKYN Vibes personal massager… I’m obsessed.”

4. Lube and wipes are your friends

“For anal, we usually use SKYN All Night Long Lubricant or organic coconut oil*…and intimate cleansing wipes are a game-changer”

5. Be safe, get tested!

“Using protection, getting tested and wearing condoms is essential for porn stars. It’s something the industry as a whole does amazingly well, and I think it’s something we could really educate more people about—it’s so important. Incredible sex is always safe sex.

*Using coconut oil as lubricant is damaging to condoms.