Category: Intimacy & Sexuality

‘Pegging’ is where a woman wears a strap-on and penetrates her male partner – ‘bottoming’ is the receiving end. Even just a few short years ago, it was still taboo, but now it’s talked about often, and practised too!For men who are cis and straight, switching things up in the boudoir can take courage. Bottoming might just be the breath of fresh air you’ve been looking for, and here’s why.

1. It’s all about the FEELING.

If you take your time and easy your way into it, anal sex isn’t messy or painful. You can make this process more enjoyable by using anal lube and investing in a few adult sex toys. It’s about experimentation and playing to find out what you like and what you don’t.

2. Bottoming isn’t solely for gay men.

Before you rush into anything with your partner, you might like to see what you like solo. It’s not about your sexual orientation either, but rather about what makes you squirm and enjoy yourself. You might need to do a little research on how to use a dildo, or try other adult sex toys – like a vibrating egg or butt plug – as an introduction to bottoming.

3. Bust gender myths (kapow!).

When a woman engages in pegging, it flips the gender roles. So when, as a cis, straight man, you experiment with bottoming, you’re redefining sexy. Go on, let her dominate – who knows what you’ll discover.

4. Get a crash course in your own body.

When you try something new, like bottoming, there’s a lot to learn. Don’t worry if the learning curve is a steep one – with practice, you and your partner will find your groove as you figure out what pleasure feels like, together.

5. The more you know about butts, the better!

As you experiment with your own body, you’ll learn more about other people’s bodies (because, you guessed it, we all have butts!). The perk? You’ll likely become a way more generous and giving lover.

6. Make the pleasure last.

Unfortunately, early ejaculation happens more than the common man would like. To reduce your chances of cutting things short, explore other pleasure zones (aka male g-spots) like the anal cavity or prostate, to stretch out your bliss longer (the climax may just blow your mind!).

7. Prostate orgasms are INTENSE.

If you’re a straight cis man and you haven’t had a prostate orgasm before, you’re seriously missing out. It’s the kind of pleasure that makes your toes curl and skin tingle, and why wouldn’t you want to experience that? ‘Nuff said.

8. Sex-ploration = sexual freedom!

Sticking to what you know works and is acceptable when it comes to sex is a fast track to boredom. Shake things up. Reject the ordinary. If you’re curious about anal stimulation, then you owe it to yourself (and your partner) to follow the white rabbit. Have all the orgasms, live your best life!

9. Feel a kinship with your LGBTQ+ family.

Do you ever ask your queer friends about their sex lives? Start a sex positive, inclusive conversation and share your explorations into bottoming and pegging – it might even bring you closer together.

10. Bottoming is good for your prostate (so lube up).

Prostate cancer is a big killer among men of all ages and orientations. Massage can help to lower your risk of the ‘big C’, so whip out the anal lube and get to work.

11. Just do it (no, really, give it a shot).

Here’s a cold hard truth: you won’t know what you like until you try it. Anal sex can be a game changer for straight cis men – so if you want more orgasms and more options in the sack, it might be time to turn over.

To make your bottoming experience all the more safe and pleasurable, don’t forget to grab SKYN® lubricants and some wipes for when you’re all finished (hygiene is extra sexy!).

Not in the mood? We don’t blame you – one peek at the glistening bodies and hypersexual icons of pop culture and you might be fooled into thinking that everyone’s sexual appetite is insatiable. But what’s happening on the ground is anything but.

Did you know that we all experience sporadic levels of desire and that intimacy is sorely lacking for most people? In fact, one in every three women in the US feel it. Heck, even up to 20% of men, too. So why aren’t we talking about it more?

Having a low libido is common

Phew – yes, that was an audible sigh of relief you heard! There’s still quite a bit of shame around sex, often perpetuated by stigma, but a low libido might happen by choice. Even if you’ve invested in sex toys and personal lubricants, if you’re not ‘feeling it’, you likely won’t enjoy it!

There are a range of things that affect how high your sex drive is that don’t have anything to do with your relationship, sexual orientation or your gender identity.

What causes low libido?

If sex has taken a back seat in your life lately, don’t panic – chances are it won’t last forever. For starters, your lack of drive might be due to:

• Any medications you’re taking.
• Imbalances in your hormones.
• Your level of self-esteems.
• Any shame you might be feeling around your desires.
• Stress and anxiety from your lifestyle.

It could also be the phase of your life – your libido can change as you get older, so if you’re craving less sex, it’s not the end of the world. You might not need to have sex every single day, you could be satisfied with mindblowing sex every now and then. Try to think in terms of quality sex, not quantity.

Want to boost your libido? Try this…

If you’re not satisfied with your sex drive, you don’t have to just accept it. There are things you can do, such as:

• Ask yourself honestly: “am I happy with how much sex I’m having?” That way you can make a plan to address it.
• Ask your partner honestly: “how can we keep the fire burning so sex remains a big part of our relationship?” They may have ideas you haven’t considered.
• Visit your local sex shop; take a scroll through the SKYN® website for tips, tutorials and more; and ask questions. Find out what sex toys might enhance your experience (we’re big fans of personal lubricants).
• Book an appointment with a sex therapist – they can, in an unbiased way, help you get to the core of what’s going on.
• Take a microscope to your life to see what habits are serving you and which ones are draining your energy. Your sleep, diet and movement practices are crucial to your wellbeing and (spoiler alert) they affect your libido. Don’t assume you need hormone therapy – start by making small, incremental changes and see what happens.
• Create positive affirmation about your sex drive that go against what society wants you to believe. It’s not slutty to have a lot of sex. It’s also not prudish to not want to have it as much. Dictate your own destiny – own your sexuality!

It doesn’t matter where you sit on the spectrum of sexuality: be gentle with yourself. And when you’re in the mood to play and step things up a notch, we’ve got you covered. Start by exploring the range of SKYN® condoms, then see where the pleasure leads you!

When it comes to talking about and exploring sex, we’ve travelled lightyears ahead of where things used to be. Gender roles are changing – activities that were once reserved for some are now being had by all.

Take bottoming or ‘pegging’ for example. Essentially, pegging refers to a female using a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male counterpart. And it appears that straight men the world over are embracing this sexual act in their heterosexual hijinks.

Even though pegging is growing in popularity (and you may hear whispers of it in your friendship circles), it’s still a taboo topic.

There still exists a lot of stigma around sexuality, despite a lot of the pleasure and joy pegging can bring to everyone involved!

So, what makes pegging so alluring?

No matter how you identify yourself, there’s a whole world of wonderful sensations hidden in the anal area to be found in the abundant nerve endings. Females can tap into another level of indirect stimulation via the clitoris (by accessing it from another angle). While males can enjoy a direct path to the coveted ‘p-spot’ (aka the male g-spot), a mere 2 inches into the anus.

The best part? Nerve endings aren’t defined by a gender or sexual identity, so it’s ‘game on’ for anyone who’s willing and able to explore!

If you’re curious, say so

While it can feel awkward at first, if you’re in the mood to experiment and want to try pegging, let your partner know. Make sure you get prepared by getting everything you need from an adult shop ahead of time – like a dildo, harness and water-based SKYN® lube and wipes.

A healthy sex life is built on open and clear communication of your needs and wants, so when we share our feelings about sex, it paves the way for fun and connection.

Pleasure takes many forms

Trying something new – whether it’s an activity or even a new toy from your local adult shop – can unearth all kinds of unexpected sensations, both physical and emotional. Pegging changes the way males and females relate to one another during sex by switching the traditional gender roles. As women can become more dominant by pegging, heterosexual men can experience more vulnerability as they discover different ways to orgasm, like via their prostate because of the anal stimulation.

Experimenting with a partner you trust gives you the opportunity to play and connect in new and meaningful ways. Pegging isn’t reserved for those who are super kinky either – penetrating a sexual partner while wearing a strap-on dildo is something anyone can try.

And who knows, you might just unlock your best sex yet!

When you’re ready to experiment, make sure you take a look at SKYN® wipes and lubricants to create an experience that will leave you asking for more.

When the mood strikes, a little foreplay can go a long, long way (especially if you invest twice as much time ‘warming up’ as you think you need).

“It’s true… foreplay can help partners feel closer and more intimate, which ultimately leads to both parties feeling more aroused”, says Indiana University’s director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Debra Herbenick, PhD, MPH.

But we’re excited about what happens once once the main event is over, and the sex toys and lube have played their part.

Have you ever lingered longer with ‘afterplay’?

As the name suggests, afterplay kicks in but moments after sex. With your bodies still vibing and highly sensitive, it’s the time when physical intimacy is at its peak, perhaps making afterplay one of the most underestimated parts of any couple’s sexy adventures.

Where foreplay gets your blood pumping, afterplay can cement and deepen the connection. Lasting for minutes or stretching long into the night, afterplay is your opportunity to bask in your partner’s glow (and get a little more TLC while you’re at it).

Afterplay activities you can try

Think of afterplay as a ‘cool down’ – foreplay is the warm up and sex is high intensity training. So when it comes time to wind down, you might like to:

• Circle your fingers or nails around on your partner’s back.
• Take a bubble bath or long, hot shower together (you could even bring sex toys for good measure).
• Spend time kissing or canoodling.
• Freshen up with SKYN® wipes.

Whatever you decide to do, chances are it’s going to feel amazing because of how sensitive and dialed in you’ll both be after sex. This is backed up by science.

Participants in a 2014 study revealed that when they engage in afterplay their sexual satisfaction increased, which was also found to be very important for couples who had kids¹ (because, as you might imagine, physical intimacy can be harder to steal with little ones running around).

Remember: don’t skip afterplay!

Foreplay often leads to great sex and afterplay has the potential to take you to a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling connection. And just like the circle of life, you may even end up right back where you started – enjoying more foreplay…

If more intimacy is on your sexual to do list, it doesn’t have to end with afterplay. Explore SKYN®’s ever evolving range of sex toys and lube to kickstart your next adventure.

We all have our own little secrets, especially when it comes to what we’re afraid of or embarrassed to reveal. None are often more taboo than our sexual fantasies – role playing, bondage, sex toys… the list can be quite long.

Whether you think you’re kinky or not, chances are there’s a whole slew of sexual fantasies living rent-free in your mind. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of – it’s normal to have desires that might make someone else blush. And to help you move past any lingering fear, here are five tips you can use to let your partner know what you’ve been fantasising about.

1. It’s all about presence.

Talking about your sexual fantasies might not be the kind of conversation that comes up often, or at all. So make sure you have a good idea of what you’d like to put on the table before you sit your partner down to chat. They’ll likely have questions and get curious, so try not to be on the defensive and welcome the discussion with an open heart and clear head.

2. Get cosy, be flirty and have fun

Sharing your secret sexual fantasies doesn’t have to be awkward or feel ‘corporate’. Snuggle up on the couch, relax in a bath together and use it as an opportunity to calm everyone’s nerves so you avoid any hidden triggers. ‘Fun and flirty’ can be your mantra as you talk about inclusive scenarios that you’ve imagined for the two of you. It’s not about dissatisfaction with the status quo either, but about dialing up the desire!

Have you ever wondered why masturbation is mostly seen as a male thing?When it comes to masturbation dedication, young men and boys are known to have a proclivity for it. There’s even masculinised euphemisms like ‘playing pocket pinball’, ‘waxing the carrot’ and ‘the old rub and tug’. For women, there’s ‘flicking the bean’ – but that’s where it ends.

This is because gender-related stereotypes have long censored female pleasure.

To unpack these stereotypes, we’ve explored several recent studies.

A new study from the Journal of Sex Research suggests that cis-gendered young men and women (aged 18 to 22) have similar self-pleasure habits.

More specifically:

The average male begins masturbating at the age of 12, while females start at age 13.

Of the 1,452 males surveyed, 95.4% admitted to using fantasies while masturbating.

Of the 1,566 females surveyed, 86.8% admitted to using fantasies while masturbating.

But what about outside of the study – not just young people? On average, men masturbate 3x more than women across all age groups. We call this ‘the orgasm gap.’ So the disparity still exists – it’s just not as broad as society might have us believe.

The same study also busted the myth that females need toys to get off.

That said, women do reach for sex toys more often than their male counterparts, with 8% of female respondents bringing their favourite toys to bed for solo purposes.

Despite the abundance of male sex toys available on the market, only 1.4% of men said they used adult toys to masturbate. It seems ‘boys and their toys’ simply isn’t applicable here.

Thanks to the rise of female liberation, the adult toy industry is now valued at $57b – and it’s all thanks to the vagina economy. Sexologists say women who are unsatisfied with their sex lives are creating unprecedented demand for better quality sex toys and more of them. It’s important to remember, this isn’t the case in every country. Many women are less privileged – and like all good things, self-pleasure is a privilege.

Sweden, for example, ranks first in the EU on the Gender Equality Index. A recent local study found that Swedish men and women masturbated almost just as frequently. This is testament to the nation’s reduced stigma around female pleasure and progressive social norms. The Swedes even have a word for female masturbation: “klittra” (it was added to the Swedish Language Council’s new word list of 2015).

When we experience an orgasm, happy hormones and brain chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins are released. These don’t just provide sexual pleasure – some scientists say they can reduce anxiety and stress, reduce physical pain, boost the immune system and even stimulate the libido. Shouldn’t women get to experience these benefits, too?

In summary, the day we achieve pleasure parity will be a good day for everyone. But today, we have work to do – destigmatising female pleasure and educating ourselves on the negative effect of patriarchal norms.

We must empower people with the tools they need to embrace pleasure and discover themselves sexually, in order to live their best lives. It’s not just about sex toys; confidence comes with communication and an unwavering commitment to consent.

To start your self-pleasure journey, explore SKYN®’s growing range of personal lubricants and quality sex toys for women.