5 Ways to Share Your Sexual Fantasies

3 minutes

We all have our own little secrets, especially when it comes to what we’re afraid of or embarrassed to reveal. None are often more taboo than our sexual fantasies – role playing, bondage, sex toys… the list can be quite long.

Whether you think you’re kinky or not, chances are there’s a whole slew of sexual fantasies living rent-free in your mind. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of – it’s normal to have desires that might make someone else blush. And to help you move past any lingering fear, here are five tips you can use to let your partner know what you’ve been fantasising about.

1. It’s all about presence.

Talking about your sexual fantasies might not be the kind of conversation that comes up often, or at all. So make sure you have a good idea of what you’d like to put on the table before you sit your partner down to chat. They’ll likely have questions and get curious, so try not to be on the defensive and welcome the discussion with an open heart and clear head.

2. Get cosy, be flirty and have fun

Sharing your secret sexual fantasies doesn’t have to be awkward or feel ‘corporate’. Snuggle up on the couch, relax in a bath together and use it as an opportunity to calm everyone’s nerves so you avoid any hidden triggers. ‘Fun and flirty’ can be your mantra as you talk about inclusive scenarios that you’ve imagined for the two of you. It’s not about dissatisfaction with the status quo either, but about dialing up the desire!

3. But remember: it’s not JUST about you.

There are so many ways your fantasies can be brought to life. Even suggesting you try using sex lubricant might open the door to more possibilities. And while you might know exactly what gets your goat, your partner might not be as forthcoming. You could do a little pre-reading and brush on what fantasies are most common, but the important thing is to…

4. Keep your mind open!

They’re probably feeling just as nervous and vulnerable as you are, so be positive and ditch the judgment – the last thing you’d want is for your partner’s feelings to get hurt in the process.

5. If you’re still anxious, try gamifying it!

Still finding it difficult to open up? Try this: write down your most desired fantasies onto bits of paper and put both yours and your partner’s ideas into a hat. Take turns pulling them out one by one and entertaining them. Who knows, it might turn you on so much that you can’t help but make that fantasy a reality right away.

Not all sexual fantasies need to be brought to life, they can remain in your mind.

“Many people like to keep them just as a fantasy but sharing it with your partner and possibly talking about it erotically during sex can really spice things up,” Miranda Christophers, sex and relationship therapist, explains.

So make your next sexcapade a memorable one. Explore SKYN®’s range of condoms, sex lubricant and sex toys for inspiration!